Some of us are introverts and many are extroverts. Being a cronic introvert will make one a social outcast and a person who is an extreme extrovert will be considered a pain in the ass by others. So I guess the best way is the middle path that is neither a introvert or an extrovert but someone who adapts according to circumstances.
Stevepavlina has writen this wonderful article called Steps needed to change from an Introvert to an Extrovert which explains the steps needed for changing one's behaviour to get the most out of life which I am listing in a short format.
Blocks to becoming an extrovert
Underdeveloped social skills - Social skills can be learned like any other skill set. One reason introverts shy away from social activities is that they don’t feel comfortable because they don’t know what to do, especially if the unexpected were to occur. Being able to start up a conversation with a stranger AND feel completely comfortable doing it is a learnable skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Embrace the fact that you’re a beginner, and don’t compare yourself to others.
Envisioning yourself as the wrong kind of extrovert - If you find the extroverted people around you shallow and perhaps even annoying, why would you want to be more like them? You wouldn’t. When I was a kid, I really didn’t want to be more like the extroverts I knew. Even as an adult, my vision of an extrovert was an in-your-face salesperson who only wanted to build a shallow relationship with you so they could sell you something. It seemed very fake and phony to me. And of course that vision prevented me from ever wanting to be like that. But you needn’t choose such a limited vision for yourself — you’re free to form your own vision of a positive way to be more extroverted.
Hanging out with the wrong people - Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If becoming more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to break this pattern and form a social group that you’d love to be a part of.
Overvaluing online socializing - Online socializing has its place in your life, but it’s a pale shadow compared to face-to-face, belly-to-belly communication. Voice and body language can communicate a lot more than text, and emotional bonds are easier and faster to establish in person.
If you have some of these blocks and want to get past them, the first step is to acknowledge them and consider how they’re holding you back. Then begin to work on them just as you would any other challenge in your life. Focus your intentions, set goals, make plans, and start taking action. It may be awkward and clumsy at first, but just accept that, and get moving anyway.
Suggestions for becoming more extroverted
Envision the type of extrovert you’d like to be. What’s your ideal outcome? If you feel too introverted and want to be more extroverted, start by working on your vision of your outcome. Chances are that if you’ve been making little progress in this area, you have a somewhat negative vision of extroverts.
Think of relationships in terms of what you can give, not in terms of what you can get. If you seek to build new relationships based on mutual giving and receiving, you’ll have no shortage of friends. Identify people with whom you’d like to build a relationship, and start by giving.What can you bring to a relationship that will be of benefit to someone else? When you figure out what that is (and it’s probably many different things), you’ll have an easier time attracting new friends into your life.
Find the right social group for you. Consciously consider the types of people you’d want to have as friends. There’s no rule that says this has to be your peers or co-workers. I actually find myself more interested in making friends with people who are much older than me as opposed to people my own age or slightly younger. Don’t be afraid to stretch beyond the most obvious peer group and hang out with people from different ages, neighborhoods, cultures, countries, etc. You might find the variety to be a lot of fun.
Play from your strengths. It’s interesting that many introverts have no trouble socializing online. In that environment they’re able to play from their strengths. But you can also use your strengths consciously as leverage to branch out into more face-to-face socializing. If you socialize online, see if you can’t use that strength to build new local relationships. While people have done this in global forums like online games, I think it’s easier to try it in local forums. For instance, there are message boards for people who’ve recently moved to Las Vegas.
Join a club. It’s old advice, but it still works. The advantage is that you’ll find people who share similar interests, which makes it easier to build new relationships. One good club can fill your social calendar. If you join a club and find that it’s not right for you, quit and join something else.
Develop your social skills consciously. You can learn to become better at building rapport, introducing yourself, keeping a conversation going, asking someone out on a date, feeling socially comfortable instead of nervous, and so on. You don’t need to be shallow and manipulative about it, but genuinely build these skills because it will greatly enhance your life. A small basic set of social skills can go a long way because you’ll get to reuse them every time you meet someone. Whatever skill you’d like to develop, try doing a Google or Amazon search on it, and you’ll probably find plenty of articles and books.
Comments
sometimes i'm bored with social events because i just know what's going to come next. i know how i'm supposed to act and what is supposed to happen and i have a suspicion he likes me, she likes me, he doesn't, etc. but, i'm bored because it's so predictable. it's not always that way for me. and it's logical to argue that not socializing means you have less chance to learn social skills, but just because you're introverted doesn't mean you haven't picked up social skills.
whereas i've always wanted to call myself an introvert, there are times when i feel perfectly extroverted. in other words, around certain people, i tend to chat on and on and on...
so perhaps we should just forget about the words "introvert" and "extrovert" because they were probably made up by some kid who felt rejected when some other kid did not talk to him (and then grew up to become a noble psychologist)
I agree with the last poster that introversion is treated as a disease by extroverts. But I don't want to strike up a conversation with every extroverted (lonely?) cashier, doorman, co-worker, etc. that passes briefly into my life.