Thursday, June 16, 2005

Five remedies to cure Homesickness

I came across this article in msnbc.msn.com written by John Frenaye which according to him are the five steps needed to cure homesickness.
In a nutshell, these are the things he recommend for tackling effectively the issue of homesickness when away from home.
  1. Bring a piece of home with you. Nothing eases homesickness than a few mementos of your home and loved ones. Bring small photographs in a folding frame for your nightstand— your kids, wife, girlfriend, or loyal pooch. Do you have any young kids? Bring a recent piece of “art.” Does your wife or girlfriend wear a perfume that you love — bring along a sachet that will remind you of her.
  2. Stay in touch. Keeping in touch keeps home close to you and you close to home. There are ways to work around a time difference, but it is important to be sure to keep in touch with your home base — not your office, your home base. Be sure you know that Jimmy won his soccer game, and that your wife had the day from hell, and that Susie has the sniffles. If you are in Europe, call late at night just before you go to bed, and if you find yourself in Asia, set your alarm for a 15 minute conversation in the middle of the night. Call on their time, not yours.
  3. Use technology. If you have a laptop, keep in touch with “just thinking about you” e-mails, consider an instant messaging program, or even a webcam for the face-to-face conversation. I know that my evening out with some clients will go a lot better when my Elizabeth (my daughter) pops onto my instant messaging to tell me about the “way cool lacrosse game” she just finished. While I do not have a webcam, many of our clients do use them to keep in touch — it is a living photograph and closes the distance gap just a little more.
  4. Blog it. Blogging is all the rage. It’s is a personal piece of cyberspace to voice your opinions, keep your thoughts, photos, and memories. Google has a partnership with Blogger, which allows you to blog for free. Just give your personal address to your friends and family and you all can share and post to keep one another up to date. If you are not as tech-savvy as you would like, a travel journal is a great alternative. Don’t bore the neighbors, but a journal and some photos to really see what mommy or daddy does when they go away is a fantastic way to keep in touch.
  5. Pick the right place to stay. While bringing a piece of home with you and keeping in touch will go a long way to ease the pain of a road trip, the fact remains that a hotel is still a hotel. Or is it? If you find yourself away from home for an extended period of time — say, 10 days or more, you ought to look into long-term corporate housing. I am not talking about those extended stay places that add a refrigerator, microwave, and coffee pot to the standard fare hotel room. I’m talking about a full-blown home away from home.

28 comments:

vinu said...

Nice articles: BUT ...

Hi Ravi, these are nice articles. But I think you should mention where you are taking this article first. posting courtesy at the end of it (which most of them don't read) will make believe that you are the author.

anyway - these are my thoughts you are free to do what you want. But the usual way its done in blogsphere is to quote the person rather than copy the entire article and then say courtesy

Anonymous said...

this absolutely does not cure homesickness!
okay...to be fair,it's more of a short-term remedy. Not meant for people far away for long, long, loong periods of time. Nothing can cure that.
-just popping in

Anonymous said...

Hi - Im desperately homesick for Cambridge, England, UK. I moved up to Yorkshire, UK to live with my partner 9 months ago.
Ive really tried to fit in, tried to find good points and tried to 'move on' - but 9 months down the line its getting really hard:
Im out of work (unemployment is bad up here and my style "too conscientious" of work doesnt suit them up here. My personality "southern do-gooder/prim and proper/too nice" isnt really welcome either.
Ive moved a lot in my life and eventually chose Cambridge UK 21 years ago. I had a good job at the University and I loved the big skies, open minds, diversity of people and vast opportunities for learning - now i have no job, no friends, no future.
I just ache in my heart over what I have given up to join my partner. He loves it here, has been promoted too.
Me - Im all washed up and contemplating various ways out.
could do with a friend. anyone out there?
Vicki :(

Anonymous said...

I really dont think that this does cure homesickness. this is like for a short while, im looking for something up to 3-4 years of staying away from home. please if you have something more of this keep me updates. oh yeah and homesickness is hell, I'm not away from my home, but a really close friend of mine is leaving on his own and is suffering through it. not accomedating at all.
I'm asking for help, please reply.

Ashley said...

I kinda have a feeling that this is a cliche for how to cure homesickness (by bringing a piece of home with you)... Because whenever I do that I just get more homesick.

I'm concerned about homesickness because I'm going to be applying for colleges, and at first I'll be excited, but as soon as we are done unpacking and my mom leaves, all the positive things will be gone and I'll get unbelievably homesick. And I really don't want to be in a new place were my first impression on people is the cry baby or something... haha

Anonymous said...

Im sorry but how does this help homesickness if i look at a picture or smell perfume ect it amkes me feel even worse i feel really homesick all the time and i dont know how to helpmyself anyone have any suggestions

Please help

Anonymous said...

I'm missing home too. We're living abroad for 18 months and part of me wants to go home already! I try to remember that the feeling doesn't come from a NEED for home but from a desire to bolt for safety when you are out of your comfort zone. Recognising this shifts your focus toward the creation of your new life -rather than focusing on all the things you don't have right now. Sometimes I find it's not about 'homesickness' at all but it's a way of hiding from all those slightly scary things like building new friendships, getting work, creating new routines. It's OK to feel apprehensive about this stuff - everyone does - and the only 'way out' is to go forward. Real Cures For Homesickness:
1. Write down what you'd like your life to be like in 3, 6 and 12 months. These goals will focus you. Consider each area of your life; friends, work, hobbies, etc. Know where you are going and want to go there.
2. Take baby steps and recognise your progress. You are not going to walk out the door and meet your new best friend today. But if you make 20 acqaintances this month, in 3 months time a couple of them might be becoming good mates. Acqaintenances are easy - chat to shop assistants, neighbours, the postman...
3. Ask yourself what it is about creating this new life that seems the greatest hurdle? Ask yourself what you need to do to overcome this. Now decide what the first step is. And do it. Recognise your achievement and repeat the process daily until jumping hurdles becomes your natural response to stress.
4. Use your homesickness to help you! If you feel a bout of homesickness overwhelming you ask yourself, what is the stress you are facing that is making you want to bolt for safety? Deal with it as per number 3!
This is a creative phase of our lives and we need to make it work for us - what an achievement that will feel like! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

That last comment is great advice. I have moved half-way across the country for my partner and feel very out of place. The overwhelming part is the lack of familiar scenery of trees even.
You have given me a glimmer of hope. It is all about being brave when you want to curl up and run home. I think that the only thing that I can add is to keep a bit of your routine from home. I have two dogs and I have kept them on the same walking/feeding schedule as back home. That has help me and the dogs stay a bit sane.
hanging on till then
-C

Anonymous said...

Hey I realy appreciate the comment left before the last as well. Really great advice, I think. I believe we may be in the same boat, but I am going to be out of country for only 12 months. I already began feeling overwhelmingly homesick. I am going to start your advice right away. You have really hit home. Thank you for sharing.

lazaro rosales said...

My name is Pvt Rosales, I'm currently stationed at Ft. Jackson for Airborne. Training, I have a severe case of homesickness, I gets so worked up and depressed about being away from home that I cannot feed properly, and feel nauseous, all the time. I stay in contact with my whole family but the fact I won't be able to see them again for over a year makes me very depressed. Help please

Anonymous said...

Hi. I really feel for you. It sounds like you are having a really difficult time. If this is homesickness, then the one thing you can be sure of, is that in time that it will ease. You will feel better with every connection that you make in your new surroundings. Putting down some roots, creating some new 'familiars', finding the people, places, things that bring you a feeling of warmth and comfort. These things will come in time. You'll find them in unexpected places.
I do remember the nausea and lack of appetite myself. You feel this emotion really physically, don't you? Is there anyone you can confide in? Be brave and ask for help to get through this. Friend? Counsellor? The more help you get, the faster you wil get beyond these overwhelming feelings.
I hope that you find someone to sit and talk to honestly about your feelings. I know it will help more than you can imagine right now. Things will be ok. Take it slowly, xxxx

Anonymous said...

i am going to be working in India for one year and i have been here already one and a half months and am still not getting used to it. i dont like EVERYTHING!!!!!i miss food from home, hanging out with people who are like me, or at least who can drink and smoke(here this is crazy for women to even contemplate this)..and most of all, i miss my family..am pretending am having a ball..yeah, i have seen the taj mahal already etc etc...but i am homesick..what will make it go away?

Anonymous said...

I am feeling so homesick, too! Much like the guy/girl in India. I am in Hawaii - and while it is "paradise", it's a totally unfamiliar culture to me. There is so much that is scary and unfamiliar. And to make things worse, my oldest is in college in NYC and my next oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school and will be moving away, too. He doesn't want to be here either. I envy him that he has a choice to leave - I am missing my family on the east coast, I am missing being in the Eastern time zone even! I hate waking up at 600a to watch football! It costs so much to fly to visit anyone, and with two of my children on the mainland, I am sick about not being able to hop in the car and see them on a weekend.

My heart is sick, I cannot eat, I cannot think straight, I cry every day - it is a physical pain that is sometimes unbearable. I have even threatened to divorce my husband and move with the kids if he doesn't quit his job and move us back at the end of the term of the lease on our house.

I have met some wonderful people and am involved in some good things here, but it's not home and never will be. It's not family and it never will be. I feel so hopeless and so helpless...

Anonymous said...

I have moved away from home for University, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through four years here. I've been here for about a month, and all I do when I'm not at school or work is sit in my room and do homework. I'm doing a homestay, but I'm finding it difficult to connect with the family. To make things even worse, I moved away from my significant other, and now we're trying to maintain a relationship 1700 km apart. I talk to him often, but it always makes me feel worse. I've lost weight, I don't sleep properly...is it even worth staying?

Anonymous said...

i have been away for barely 3 months and im missing home so bad i find myself crying in the bus when i commute to work. so many things remind of home. im giving myself time to "adjust" but its just so terribly hard. i have yet to find a "cure" that will work for me.

Forget You said...

WTF?

This an AWFUL article.

Keep yourself busy.
Find a NEW hobby or interest.

Keeping a piece of home close by WILL make you MORE homesick NOT less!?!

Don't havetons of pics scattered about ppl back home.

You have to FORCE yourself to move forward.

After a year bring out the fond memories that will ADD to your happiness NOT make your PRESENT and current situtation worse.

"Fcuk ppl are stupid!"

Sue C said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

hi frnd nw i feel tough homesick ven i am in hostel and in school i tried many times to control my self to get raid off from homesickness i wants to go to every every week and missing my parents if der is any exam dey will not leave mi 2 home at dat tym i feel very boring i feel very bad to attend the class due to homesickness i dont get concentration more than 2 or 3 min i want sum remedy 4 dis plz help mi

Anonymous said...

Hello all,

I have suffered with homesickness my whole life. At 11 years old, I was ripped away from my home and mother in Australia and taken to the US by an abusive father. We were brought home for visits twice a year that reopened the wounds and made the homesickness for Australia unbearable because we were never able to move on. After 20 years in the US I have moved on and never been more confused in my whole life. I have my family back, but it's like being directly inserted back into your childhood. My family can be very mean sometimes and difficult to handle but I know they love me so that helps. But moving all the way back here to be closer to them has made me realise that I'm homesick for the place I lived for 20 years! The thing is, I never really liked it there. How confusing is that!
What complicates matters is that my husband is from the US and he moved out here to be with me. He's handling things really well but of course he's homesick too. He likes it better here but he of course misses his old life, his family, and his freedom. He doesn't know anyone but me and he won't leave the house without me, and even then I have to force him. He's retreating into an online world, as am I. Right now we're stuck inside because of a flood and I just don't know what to do! Should I go back to the US? Every time I do it feels like I'm being ripped away from Australia against my will, even though it is my choice. It hurts so much. And then when I get back to the US, I'm homesick for Australia. But I was in the US for 20 years! Which place is home? We've been here for a few months now and things have been getting harder,not easier. My husband has to wait six to nine months for his visa (minimum) and during that time my US green card may get revoked. We picked up our whole lives to live a dream that feels broken. I'm scared to stay, but equally scared to give up and go back to a life that was unsatisfying enough to make us leave to begin with! My poor husband has been watching me go through awful pain and he's tired of me dragging him into it. After all, he did this for me and I'm still not happy. I don't want to make his life unhappy. He says he will live wherever I want, I just have to pick a place. Part of the problem is the town we're in in Australia. It's very small. I picked it because it's kind of close to my sister (45 mins) but other than that my Mum and Stepdad are in a town I don't want to live in. We don't know anyone else. I have always had this yearning to return to the place where I was yanked out of, to try and remedy my childhood, but it doesn't work that way. You can't just pick up where you left off if there's a gap of 20 years! The thought of moving is just awful but so is the thought of staying. I need some help. I don't know who to turn to. My sister is new in her new town and she's leaving soon for 3 months so we'll be totally alone. I had so many hopes that just feel dashed now. Where is home? Where do I belong? What do I do? I am fully aware that there is not a simple solution to my situation. Any ideas would be appreciated. Thanks for listening - I need to feel as though there's hope!

Anonymous said...

Well my name is eleanor from austrailia and I have been at boarding school since I was 14 . the best way I find to cure homsickness honestly and without being sentimental about it is to FORGET ( no photos and minmum calls)I live 4000kms away from home and I find temporarily disintegrating contact but not completely ( so I remember I still have a mummy) amazingly helpful. It only makes coming home all the more wonderful . For all the people feeling homsick know that you are in the situation to achevie a goal that will most Lilkly better you& your families lives . Thank you

NoAh said...

I moved from Springfield,mo to Erie,Pa.I cant t it take it i am homesick i lived next to Joplin were the massive tornado hit i had many friends and a great teacher.I agree with alot of people it sucks to leave home.We moved to my step dads home town and i have lived in Missouri for a long time i cant take it anymore.

T C Steve said...

I am returning to Winston-Salem N Carolina, to be with someone I love and want to have a life with. I have lived in Pittsburgh all my life, and will leave behind my family, and my son who is a senior in college. I am having a terribly time with this. My soulmate has lived in the south for the last 20 plus years. I dont like the town, and become terribly homesick. I miss my son, and my family. This has caused me to leave her, a year into me being there, in N CarolinaI love her, and am going to return. I have the terribly fear, that I will fold again, and run for home. Loosing her for good. Please someone tell me how to overcome this

T C Steve said...

She says she will move back to Pittsburgh. But it sounds like not right Away, meaning not putting house on market till spring? Im totally not into going back now. Gotta make a very hard decision in next few days. Shes expecting me to be down there this week. how the hell will I tell her how I feel, and that I dont want to be there ?

T C Steve said...

Well i did it. Told her I cant live there, she needs to get the house listed now, cause waiting till spring isnt an option for me. Went over like a turd in a punchbowl. She is laying this terrible guilt trip on me, and its tearing me up. I gotta be strong, let it roll off of me. not cave. someone please respond, talk to me.....

vasanth said...

my homesickness might be the worst of any homesick people.i cant leave my home for even a hour .just going outside the territory where i live makes me sick.i dont know how am i gonna handle my sickness in future.i just want to stay at my for my entire life.

Stella Raciti said...

Hi my name is Stella and have bounced back and forward from my home Sicily to Australia. I decided that Australia would be my full time home for a better life style for my children and of course every now and then missed home but now in my 40's it's like i'm craving my home and find my self even making my self sick by missing my family the food even the smell from Sicily. Never thought this is how I would end up feeling. Has anyone got any answers for me please. Wishing this feeling could stop. Please help with any suggestions.

Anonymous said...

I am homesick, I am old enough to go home, but this would mean leaving my children, future grandchildren, the bonds with my children's to be spouses. And my marriage.. I am stuck. I am helpless. And THAT makes me angry. I highly regret not moving back when they were young, nefore they had freated bonds. I see my family/home but it just isn't the same. I can't find friends and am unable to bond, for other reasons..I am in a self made prison. There us ni help for me. I hope that YOU never become as pathetic as me.

Anonymous said...

Granddaughter in college. She is very homesick and wants to come home.Her Mother, my daughter ,is also very upset.Wants to do the right thing and Don't know if she should bring daughter home or make her stay. And then there is me, the Grandmother who can't stand everyone being so unhappy. We are all so sad and crying. Is this worth all the heartache?